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Here I am: Standing.

I am standing on my heights; standing all alone. I don’t recall how long I have been standing here.

Days!

My days are my nights. My nights are my days. I could never tell the difference between night and day.

I lost count. I count no more.

I have been standing here so long that I don’t recall when I arrived here. I don’t remember.

I just don’t want to remember.

I am cold. I am very cold.

I have only one friend that I call the void. I can never have a better friend. This always allows me to expand. There is no limit for my expansion. I like it.

I am getting big, so big that I can move no more. Did I ever move? I don’t recall.

I am standing here, on my heights all alone and I got only one friend that is the void.

I am invincible.

I can’t look down. I don’t want to look down. There is nothing to see there.

I’ll look straight in front of me. This is better. There is nothing in front of me!

I should look elsewhere. There is no elsewhere.

I should look down! I can’t look down.

I have to stand here. I am standing here! I am not moving!

I am invincible.

I’ll try to move just a little as I feel tired from standing in my place that long. Just a bit.  Then I will come back to my place. I should never leave my place.

I am moving; it seems fine to move a little!

I am slipping! I should hang on! I am slipping! I can’t hang on!

There is nothing to hold me. The void couldn’t hold me.

I am falling.

I thought I am invincible; I fell.

 

Here I am: Falling.

I am so afraid. I should have never moved from my place.

I am so afraid and I am falling. I try to hang on, but the more I try, the more I get shattered into pieces.

I am so afraid. I am so angry. I got so angry while I am falling. I found loneliness only as friend.

I am furious. I destroyed everything I touch during my fall.

I heard them calling me names. It hurts. It hurts so much. They even called me avalanche!

I never expected to be called like that. I am only falling. I am only falling all alone.

I am ravishing and bringing down with me everything that stands on my way.

I am also bringing down myself.

Myself?! Myself exists no more.

I am shattered into pieces all over the place.

I thought I would never stop falling; here I lay.

 

Here I am: Lying.

I am weak, shattered and almost dead. I am no longer that invincible. Invincible, I was!!

I lost myself. I don’t recognize my body anymore.

I am crying. I am crying. I am crying. All these tears gave me strength to rise.

Again! Again! Again!

I will give it a go and look what could be, there, in these places that I never wanted to look at.

I started running all around trying to explore and to understand. I faced lot of obstacles, but this time I did not try to break them, I learned to move around them. To my surprise, this gave me strength that I did not expect and push me to move more and more here and there.

I, who used to be always standing on his place.

My journey made me stronger but also turned me heavier. I am heavy full of faults. My body is full of mud. And I am tired. I am tired of running all alone.

I thought I would never meet you; here you are.

 

Here you are: Glittering.

You glitter in your place. It was the first time I saw you. It is the day that I remember well. It was early spring, the nicest day I’ve ever known. I was ashamed. I tried to hide. You saw me, came to me and stayed. You merged with me. You purified me. I don’t know if I got your soul or if you got my body. We are just one. You brought joy to my life. We were happy. We made other lives happy. Void and loneliness existed no more. Fulfillment and care took their place.

I thought I would never leave; I left.

 

Here I am: Flying.

I am flying away. I do remember the day when I had to leave. It was a hot summer day when I stopped breathing. Breathing?! Did I ever breathe? It was the day when my soul left my body. No. It can’t be that. It was the day when my body and soul just left. I see you from above. You are still glittering under the sunshine with your usual charm and glamour. You are so beautiful! You will always be.

I see you fading away as the wind is transporting me. I don’t know where I am going, but I know that I will join the dance and will adjust my rhythm to the song of the wind. 

I am riding the wind and wandering in all directions.

“Here I see this lovely lady with her pink necklace not quite diamonds but worth more because of love. I admire Francine’s treasure. Here I see a flag flying high next to the old Englishman’s house. I avoid bumping into this huge white horse fifty meters high.  I am shuffling around like things that go bump in the night. It is just like seconds of May. Look out there: Lights go on. Lights go off. Time had to stop at 9:05; Freyer Montague’s flowers always stayed the same. I saw robbery, murder by accident and stabbing in the back. Guessing, I also made sometimes. I even felt squeezed like a chocolate bar between the soya milk, peanut butter and a sandwich. There she is: This crazy woman knocking on Mr. Clarke door. Also, I saw Caroline not realizing that her date had started without her.

It is bloody freezing tonight. Collar up, cap down and scarf tight”.

I am seeing lot of stories different than mine. I am enjoying them all. Stories are always nice.

The wind might bring back as it might take me away.

I thought I would never be happy; I am happy.

Here I am happy.

I am happy because I know. I know what my name is.

My name is H2O!